Light up the darkness

Posted: 6th January 2011 by Texas Magnum in About Prisons
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Arriving here to TDCJ was as I expected. It involved a lot of nudity and yelling, being told where to stand, where to look, go, speak, dress… but overall I could think of a lot worse. My first week was spent in the “Chicken Coops” which resemble something out of the movie Silent Hill. Rusted metal, and dirty everything, complete with rats climbing on the rafters above.

While in the intake process, you to go to sociology and medical examinations, and orientation, as well as an IQ test. Once you are finished with those, you are moved to be housed in General Population. By that time, you don’t care what or who awaits you in General Population, just as long as you’re out of the Chicken Coops.

Once housed in GP, it was relieving to find that it’s pretty much like a much bigger county jail as far as the atmosphere. Observing, you can see the cliques of guys and who runs with who. Nobody disturbs you though. Over all, I am glad I have finally arrived and that I can now get started on finishing my time.

Christmas and New Years were both alright. We made a spread out of all of our food, and we said a prayer and then gave peace to the man beside you. It brought me joy to see all the men, although lost, still find their way to a merry Christmas, along with myself.

Overall, I feel I have arrived into the belly of the beast. Now it’s up to me to spread the good news that the darkness in our lives can be lit from within. Maybe it will be done in the smallest of ways, by making one of my brothers smile or giving him something to laugh about that day, maybe my words and actions can even cause him to think about his life and reflect on things. Justice, truth and peace are in my hands to share, and now is my chance to stand and act in what I believe in – to light up the darkness.


  1. Pete says:

    I found your blog from a post on soberrecovery. I am compelled to tell you that your writings here have had a deep impact on me. I feel like I have been sitting next to you throughout this entire journey of yours. In some distant sense, reading these pages you have so beautifully and descriptively composed, I have shared your emotions; your fears, worries, hopes, and dreams. You have displayed a sense of gratitude and optimism that I. personally hope to one day achieve. I admire your courage, faith, and honesty. Those are the assets that will allow you to change your life. To not only one day again have those dreams restored, the dreams of your dog, family, and freedom…But to also emerge a free man lost from the grasps of the heaviest of chains, your addiction. I wish you the best of luck on this journey, that you may continue to rediscover yourself and continue to seek the next right thing.

    Much Respect,

  2. Oren says:

    Hey Magnum,

    Sorry it has been awhile and got busy with the stupid holidays.

    I really enjoyed reading this post and glad you got out of the coop. So far, it seems like it is not the nightmare that it could be. I am glad that no one is bothering you and it will be great if you can bide your time day by day.

    I was thinking of you over Christmas, that is decent they had a spread laid out.

    I did a little time years ago and how I got through it was getting involved fellow inmates. I was clean and sober when I got put in and the majority of fellow inmates were in there because of booze or drug related situations. I talked to them about how I stayed sober. I am not sure if it helped them but it helped me.

    Do what you can to help your fellows, where it is a laugh, or an ear and you will keep feeling good and make it through.


    • Gina says:

      Pick-Nick Le sexe des anges , une  » bardache « , bien , sur ,!… pneumatique , increvable ,…de toutes les matines ,!… Di2n!,&#8g30;Deng,!…Dong ,!…un petit vent , séphir ,!…et les cloches se branlent,!… Ouye ,!…mes tympans , et tout Pan .

  3. ohmom says:

    Keep on keepin on! You are dealing with all of this the very best you can~ I’m proud of you and glad to hear about your days again. Stay strong and stay true.

  4. Kathy says:

    So glad to finally hear words from you again. Just think, a couple more things you can cross off your list of “things to do” all leading to the end of this mess. Your attitude is still just amazing. Youve been thru so many things and youre still finding your way through this journey with a purposeful mind. You obviously have intelligence which so many lack, that will serve you well. Keep it going. Looking forward to reading more.

  5. Niki says:

    I’m so glad you’re back, TM. Glad to hear you are getting settled in and that you still have your positive attitude intact. We’ll be looking forward to hearing how things are moving along for you and those lucky inmates who are fortunate enough to be in there with someone like you.