So this is the real part of being in prison. It’s not the being scared of the unknown or the fear of losing freedom. It’s the knowing that you aren’t going anywhere, day after day after day. It’s being bored and stuck and trying to make the best of  the bad result of your own bad decisions.

After getting through intake, I was put into General Population and I thought I might be staying there, but I was moved again to another facility. The new place is much farther from home too, so I won’t be getting many visits. That is a disappointment. At the new unit, I was first put into “Ag Seg”. This is short for Aggravated Segregation and they put everyone new there at first while they figure out where they should be placed. At first I thought to myself, “so this is solitary…”

The first day in Ag Seg wasn’t so bad, after all, I hadn’t had any privacy in awhile. But then I realized just how quickly I could lose track of time and run out of things to think and do. I had one book to read that I was rationing. I was scared if I finished it I would be with nothing to do at all. The guards in that area played their radios, and I could hear it. It was nice to hear music but sometimes the songs made me really sad. My room was small, I had a bed and a toilet, basically. Not much else. The light was a little dim so reading and writing were tough on my eyes after a while. I thought I might be there a day or two, and I prepared myself to wait it out, but in total I ended up being there for over a week.

Finally, I was moved to General Population. My dorm area is smaller here than it was in my last unit, so it feels a little more crowded, but there is work out equipment in the rec yard here, so that is an improvement. There are 2 televisions, but they are controlled by a group in here so we watch what they want to watch. Also, the tables are controlled too, so I have to write sitting on my bunk, which isn’t as easy. Other than that, I haven’t had many issues. It is a little more intense than at my last place, and people are more segregated by race here. I hate that part but it’s just the way it is here. It’s not really a choice.

I have been assigned a job doing yard work cutting grass but there isn’t any right now, so I have a lot of time to myself. I exercise every day, doing 1000 pushups, 500 situps and running and other routines daily. I play dominoes and watch tv, read and write. I am waiting to get into some classes.

It’s so strange finding myself living this life and more strange that it is starting to feel… normal, in a way, to have this same routine every day. I get a few letters and look forward to mail time, it’s definitely a highlight to get mail. What I see ahead of me is a lot of boredom and time to pass. I can see how it would be easy to fall into what others have said, and just let this time go by without doing work on myself while I am here. I have to find a way to focus on keeping my mind set on improving myself and getting my discipline in place for when this is behind me.

Now that the unknown of intake and getting to my unit is behind me, it feels like a waiting game. I have my people I hang out with and I have my routine down. I could give a bunch of details about the days here but most of it isn’t really that great and it would feel more like complaining. I feel I am sitting back for a minute and seeing what is next, and how I choose to make the most of this place I am locked up in. Anyways, if anyone has some comments or suggestions as to how to stay on the up side, I will be happy to hear them.

Till next time ~ Peace, Love and Noodles

  1. Deb says:

    My daughter said the same as you are now saying. The boredom is hard. When she got work on a farm crew she not only never missed work, but volunteered for any other crews that needed the help. ANYTHING to get out of there even for a few hours.
    I told her from the beginning to “Use the time – don’t let the time use you”. I don’t know what that means to you, but to her it meant spending that time doing some real soul searching, reading her Bible, deciding what she wants out of this life – in and out. My daughter had 2 – 2 year terms to be served concurrently. I was amazed when she was out of prison and into a 1/2 way house in 6 months and just got out of the 1/2 way house after 6 months. I didn’t understand “good time” and still don’t understand how it all calculates out, but here she is on ISP – in her own apartment – working 2 jobs – making it!! I asked her the other day if prison had changed her for the good or for the bad. She said that while there were definitely some bad things that went on there – it has changed her for the most part for the good. She is kinder – more patient – more aware of other’s feelings; however – she also seems somewhat paranoid and said that prison has made her watch her back more, and towards the end of her incarceration she said she began to trust people less. She saw too many people who would try to take you down if they thought you were getting out and they weren’t. She is very conscientious about minding the rules – not messing up!! She never wants to go back again – and I don’t believe she will.

    She’s caught some good breaks since she’s been out. She didn’t have any trouble finding a place to live. She has 2 jobs now in an economy where people are having a hard time finding one. I personally feel that (most) of you guys coming out of prison will make the best employees around – you are out to prove yourselves – and you have more hurdles to overcome doing that than your average guy off the street.

    You don’t know me, and I guess I’m just telling you these things because I know you can make it through this and come out on the other side and do well. I wanted to share my daughter’s story w/you in hopes that you will see a good, positive story about someone who makes it. My daughter is also an addict and she told me the other day that she has no desire at this point in her life to ever use again. It is my prayer that that mindset continues in her and she is strong enough to make that stand from here on out.

    God bless you in this tough time – use it – don’t let it use you. Learn whatever lesson it is you need to learn – help whoever it is you are meant to help through this and stay strong!! You’ll make it!!

    Deb

  2. Ashley says:

    If you are looking for more people to write to, I love writing letters. If interested, e-mail me at leylegirl908@yahoo.com. Either way, I will be praying for you as you make this journey.

  3. Kathy says:

    Glad to finally get some news from you. I think taking whatever classes you can get into is the way to go. Also, there are some bible correspondence courses my son took, if youre interested. Not only will it help you work on yourself, but will pass time and show parole that you are serious about working on you. I can get the info. if youre interested. You are right, most of the unknown is now known, and its time to just start doing what you have to do. Every step is another step closer. Remember this “you are in prison, but prison is not in you”. You are there to do your time, make the best of it, use it to serve you, and then walk out when its time. My son got a job as yard crew and when there was work, he really liked it. The fresh air helped a lot. Sounds like you are adjusting well to your surroundings, as best as can be, and thats what you need to do. Focus on you, concentrate on the positive.

  4. I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re incredible! Thanks!

  5. Thanks to your nice blog. I enjoy your writing.

  6. Pretty interesting article. You have a important review on the matter and I’ll be subscribing to your RSS and hope you shall post again soon on similar matters. But I am curious on what your article sources for the post are? Thanks

  7. I was just searching for this information for some time.After six hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your website.I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this kind of informative sites in top of the list.Usually the top sites are full of garbage

  8. free website says:

    Great post however , I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Cheers!

  9. Hey There. I found your blog using MSN. This is an extremely well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.

*


− one = 4