Letting go

Posted: 4th December 2010 by Texas Magnum in Growth and Change
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I’m mad. I’m anxious. I’m just all around worried. I sit here and sit here and sit here. And I go over and over how I could have lived my life different. I know I could have done better. I am scared for my future.

All these thoughts bring nothing but negative emotions and urges. I feel like starting a fight with anyone who crosses me, I have the urge to use drugs, drink, shoot up. And I find myself judging others, in an attempt to defend my actions and outbursts and bad attitude.

I know at moments like this, I am my own worse enemy. I am letting my old ways and my old thinking get the best of me.

When this happens I remember a saying from A.A.-  “Let go, and let god.” I remind myself of this with a serenity prayer, and I try to reassure myself by letting my higher power know that I acknowledge that he’s the one who is in control, and I’m just gonna let him handle the things in front of me that seem impossible. Meanwhile, I will try my best to do the next right thing.

  1. Most what i read online is trash and copy paste but i think you offer something different. Bravo.

  2. Kellie says:

    Keep your head up. I was in prison for 1 1/2 years due to drugs. I am a recovering addict with a clean date of 04/16/2000….. it CAN be done. I got out and pulled my life together. I was a JUNKIE – using IV drugs and putting drugs before my sweet children. will say a prayer for you. Today I am a substance abuse counselor and I have a masters degree. YOU CAN HAVE WHAT I HAVE……….. just love yourself and hate the drug!

  3. Niki says:

    You can do this! You are a very smart young man and I know that you will succeed if you stay focused on the future. The past is just that- the past. Let it go and let God take the wheel. Keep writing and stay focused on your goals. I believe once you get moved you will find things a lot easier to deal with. A letter is headed your way very soon. For now, please accept a “cyberhug” from one of your cyber aunts…..Niki

  4. This too, shall pass. Just ride it out and get to know the uneasiness. Writing really helps. You’re doing a great job.

  5. Kathy says:

    Your honesty is amazing. Your feelings are normal. You are dealing with a lot. You know what you need to do, its just hard sometimes to do it. Keep writing your feelings and remember “this too shall pass”. Its a temporary situation, you can do this! Use this time to think about what you want the rest of your life to be like and how to get it. Think about what you want. A new job path? What kind?What are your interests? You are in a place right now of waiting. Waiting is hard. Once you have moved, you can begin to start getting on with what you need to do. Just hang on!

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