To the world:

Today is the 28th of October, 2010. Just 4 days ago I signed papers at my court arraignment which convict me to 4 years in Texas Department of Corrections. It is a date I will remember for the rest of my life – the 24th day of October.

Truthfully it was one of the most relieving yet sad feelings I have ever experienced. Relieved because I know now what to look forward to, and have at least a rough idea of a date of release. It’s also very sad to me though. Sad because this isn’t what I wanted for my family or for myself. Sad because it takes me going to prison to take a look at myself.

It’s inconceivable to me now, but when I think about these past couple of years, I always had this strange desire to go to prison, out of curiosity and something more. I always wanted to be the cool guy or the bad-ass in the crowd. Somehow I thought the excesses with drugs made me the bad-ass. I guess I thought going to prison was going to make me a bad-ass too. Now I see that going to prison doesn’t make you the bad-ass, it makes you the jackass.

What I have already had time to learn here in these past 3 months is that what makes a guy the bad-ass in prison is how you carry yourself. Not in the way that might seem obvious, but in the way that you can choose to go against the grain and do what you should have been doing all along. The bad-ass in prison is the man who comes out a changed man. Changed in the ways you should be.

I can’t expect the State of Texas to reform me into the man my family needs. It’s up to me and only me to become a real man. I don’t expect to become perfect, or not ever to fall, but even if I fall down or stumble there is always tomorrow or even the rest of that day to do right.

Peace to you all ~ Magnum

  1. wendy garcia says:

    IM HAPPY YOUR OUT!!!!!! TEXAS MAGNUM!!!

  2. Nezzie says:

    Hi Magnum, I can’t say that prison will be easy because it is not going to be. Please I’am not trying to discourage you, but you probably know by now it is no picnic. You have to be careful with the company you keep, because there are some very dangerous inmates that will try to incourage you to follow them into doing wrong. They may even threaten you with your life, but please keep a strong mind, and pray a awfu lot, for only God Almighty can protect you from all the cold-hearted inmates that have been there an awful long time, some who are murderers who have nothing to loose because they will spend the rest of their lives in prison. Right now you need your family more then you needed them before. I have a couple of nephews and a brother who are serving time in prisons, and it isn’t pretty. One of my nephews entered into prison when he was 19 years of age, and he is still in prison, he is in his 30’s now, and my sister keeps saying he is coming home next year, which I know isn’t true. You said in your letter that it will take going to prison to take alook at yourself, well you wil take a ook at yourself in your own way, but not like you planned to. My best advice to you is don’t listen to anyone, and go to school every chance you get, and if you can study in the library every chance you get, learn the law, then maybe if it is God’s will, maybe you can help your fellow inmates with their cases. I don’t mean to sound so hard, but there is no such thing as a nice prison. I wish you the vey best, keep on praying to God with your whole heart, mind and soul, he will protect you from all those demons. Please keep me posted. A friend Nezzie. I wish I could give you my address, or you can give me yours, maybe I can try, if you want here is my address it’s Inez Martinez, 1970 Fulton Street, Aurora Colorado 80010. Hopefully you can write to me and I promise I will write to you. God Bless You.

    • Editor says:

      Hi Nezzie, thank you for your two responses on here, to Magnum’s post. I am a family member and I help Magnum maintain this blog, he cannot access the computer but he writes the posts and mails them to me and then I post them. Then, when he gets responses such as your own, I will now print this out and mail it back to him. So, it may take him a little bit to respond to you but I know he will appreciate your kind words so much and will be thankful for your insight. It sounds like you have been through a few things to, with yourself and your family. I hope your family members can come home soon and that all is well with you. Peace and blessings to you. ~ Editor

  3. hailey says:

    Take life while it sits in your palm dont fall or stumble walk with your chin up. Everyone has there ups and downs somtimes but do whatss right think about the positive things in life and not the negative. Don’t dwell in the past it only brings bad think about the future and what you have to look for. life is very very extraoridnary do things your way not the hard way. Be the man you want to be not what others think you should be. Be your own self. Lifes to fragile to drop.
    hope everything is well.
    sincerly, Hailey

    • Editor says:

      Hi Hailey you seem wise for your age, you have a great attitude. It’s great that you are realizing at your age that it’s all about your attitude. Keeping a positive attitude and EXPECTING good things for yourself in life will take you far. You should EXPECT to do well, to have a good education, a good career, a good family. That helps all those things be within your reach. Keep up the bright thoughts and positive approach.

  4. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

  5. JC says:

    Dear Texas Magnum,
    The last time I saw you was at your Mom’s 50th Birthday Party. I will keep this anonymous but suffice it to say you know me and I know you and I am aware of what you are going through right now!
    So much has happened in the last few years. It does make you realize how fast the time goes, and I am hoping this tough time will pass for you as well. I have tried to remember what I was like at your age , and it is a long time ago.

    Life has thrown me many curve balls as well, and as the saying goes- If we have Lemons-we will make lemonade! You will be able to look back on this time as a learning experience, and most likely will be able to help other young people facing these challenges. Your Positive attitude is remarkable, and so are your writing skills.

    I think of you often, and will try to keep an eye on your blog and send comments now and agian.

    Sincerely, an old friend of yours and your mom’s

  6. Kathy says:

    It takes a strong person to do what youre doing and come to the conclusions that you have. You can do this. Its not easy but it does become tolerable. Dont let prison get in your head, keep your thoughts on the future and it will be here before you know it. Take care!

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