Tag: smile

A dream with a message for me

My last post I wrote was about being in here with a man who is accused of the murder of a friend of mine. Well, it has caused me some stress. And, last night I had a dream with my dead friend in it! And, it was all wrapped up in drug and alcohol use. I am going to call my friend “Red” for this post, and tell you about the dream. I would like to know what you all make of it. It was REALLY strange because him and I were probably more technically acquaintances than close friends, and I sure have never dreamed about him before. And this dream was one of those dreams that are so realistic that it feels just like reality until you wake up and realize it wasn’t.

So, in my dream, Red and I were hanging out, but I was using cocaine and alcohol, and Red wasn’t doing any of that.

At one point in the dream we were in a car and he was driving, I kept asking him how long we were going to be gone because I wanted to get back so I could keep drinking. And then, we got to a restaurant. Red’s cousin was there and Red ordered his cousin a whole case of beer, but Red and I weren’t drinking! I was so mad at Red and said to him, “WTF, Red! Aren’t WE going to drink?”

At that moment, Red looked over at me and he smiled, the sort of smile like he knew something so deep that I didn’t know, and like he sort of felt sorry for me for not knowing, but like he understood me not knowing too, like he had insider knowledge of something profound.

The whole time, he was so pleasant and happy. Much more so than I ever remembered him to be in real life. And, he had an aura of peacefulness surrounding him.

Then, a show started at the restaurant, people were dancing on stage with big snakes. It made me feel frightened. But still, Red seemed peaceful and happy and unaffected by the scary show.

I woke up then, and I felt really good, and even better about the situation here in jail. It was if I couldn’t feel so much anger at Red’s accused murderer because Red himself seemed so much happier and peaceful now.

This dream seems full of meaning to me. I honestly almost feel that Red came to visit me and give me a message. I wonder what any of you feel this dream could mean?

Pieces of the puzzle

Today is Nov. 1st, the beginning of a new month and one month closer to the end of my sentence. The fact is I don’t wish for the time to race by, not even under these circumstances, because I know that one day I will miss even these times and that each day counts for something. What life is showing me is that I may not like my circumstances at the moment, but at some point in my life I will look back, maybe even with a smile, and understand why God cut my puzzle pieces into these shapes.

What I try to tell myself is that it doesn’t matter how difficult the puzzle is, or how long it takes me to find a spot for every piece until the picture is revealed. Every piece has it’s own place, each groove is made to fit into a notch, and it’s up to me to piece them together in the right way. Some parts will be easy to figure out, and some are going to be more difficult. I might need to work on a few of those corners and tough spots to get it right. But there is a whole picture there, and my puzzle pieces will all fit together if I keep working on it every day.