Update from Inside: Life here continues to be busy for me, work is trucking along, and so is the rehab program. The days are going by fast overall. Over all I am in very good spirits. I got a book called “We’re All Doing Time” by Bo Lozoff. It’s a spiritual book, not a religious book, but it pulls from all the major world religions. It quotes the Bible, Buddhist teachings, Hindu, Native American, and more. It talks about Christ and Mother Theresa and Gandhi.

It is REALLY, REALLY good. The author Bo Lozoff puts in words just what my personal beliefs about spirituality and religion have been for awhile now. It has a lot of lessons in spiritual practice to try, including prayer, meditation, and yoga. I have started working on some of these practices and I feel good about everything and I am in high spirits. I feel positive about the future.

For awhile now I have had this feeling that I can be as free in my mind in here as I can outside, it’s all about me and the way I feel inside. And the book I am reading says that being incarcerated may be more of a gift than we realize and that the richest man or woman on the outside may be more of a prisoner than those of us inside, depending on how they feel spiritually and how we feel. This is exactly how I feel too. I know I am more free now than I ever was when I was shooting dope and living the life of addiction.

The author says that being locked up in such harsh conditions without the comforts most people take for granted is a lot like what a monk chooses as a way to grow spiritually. He says us inmates can choose to spend the time with the mind of an incarerated inmate, or with the mind of a monk seeking spiritual growth. That we can come out of prison better for the experience or worse, but it’s totally up to the individual, not the programs we are enrolled in or the people who choose to go up against us. The positive and the negative we find here is all what we choose to do with it.

I find myself laying in my bed at night dreaming about life and what it may have in store for me. Life is full of possibilities and I can’t help but wonder where I am going. I try not to get too wrapped up in it, ’cause I know this very moment is what counts, but I can’t help dreaming. We all have dreams, right?

Another thing that is going on with me right now is I have decided to start to speak in our Group. It is optional, and up until now I have not chosen to. But I figure if I’m going to be here I might was well express who I was and where I am going. That way I am working on being open and honest to myself.

I am now in Phase 2 of the program and that includes some marching which probably sounds a little cooler than it is. We get out there at 6:00 am and march around the perimeter of the unit, once around,  twice a week. We yell out some stuff, go one time around, and that’s about it. We don’t do it enough to get really good at it. A lot of the guys hate it, but I don’t mind it, things could be a lot worse.

I just recently got letters about a couple things. My sister got hurt, broke a couple ribs. It was an accident that could have ended a lot worse, so she is lucky. Also, she is pregnant and the baby is OK, so she is double-lucky. And my old dog back home is getting really bad off. He probably won’t make it a lot longer. It really caused me to reflect and it also made me think of my grandfather who passed away several months ago and about death in general. It makes me realize that there are so many things we have no control over. We are all the same in so many ways, in spite of our outward differences, and we all come into the world and go out of it in the same way.

We all drive different vehicles through the streets of life, but we all have to figure out how to drive those streets, one way or another. Life will always keep on going, no matter your situation, so all we can do is go with it and do our best to find happiness and inner peace. I hope today that those reading this blog find themselves on a street going in the right direction. For anyone who might be seeking spiritual guidance, or who knows an inmate that could use some spiritual help, I highly recommend the book I am reading.

Peace to everyone ~ Magnum

Editors Note ~ I received an email this morning from Bo Lozoff’s Foundation for Prison Ashram. They let me know that if I changed the link to their Human Kindness store rather than Amazon, the proceeds are used to send free books to inmates all over. So, of course, I made those changes. I urge any of you who might be considering the book to purchase from this very worth organization.

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  1. Wayne barfield says:

    Hey, this is Wayne Barfield,I was just reflecting on my past experiences with meditations in which i have received through your book we’re all doing time. IN which I would like another copy of because the one I had received i left it with Jessie Edmond to continue using it along with some other meditation n yoga materials that you had sent me sometime between jan,n march of 2004 to mccormick correctional institution for the meditation classes I began teaching before getting out. Please right me back, hope to hear from u soon, have u heard from Jessie?

    • Texas Magnum says:

      Hi Wayne, I think you are mistaking this site for the Bo Lozoff site, which is http://www.humankindness.org. If you follow that link you will arrive there and can ask them for a new copy of We Are All Doing Time.

      By the way, I also really enjoyed Bo Lozoff’s book and it really helped me out. Peace ~ Magnum

  2. Leigh says:

    I am so happy you enjoyed the book.I am going to purchase it for my son as soon as he is moved from county jail to where he will be for the next two years. Stay strong and prayers for you!

  3. Bo Lozoff says:

    Hey Magnum, just a quick note to say I’m glad my book is helping you on your journey inside the walls. This is the time you can get clean, sober, healthy and really solid for your next adventure on these crazy streets. Your sentence is just long enough to make big changes in yourself, but not so long you’ll find it hard to function again. You have a lot going for you. Do it not just for yourself, but for all of us. We need more good men and women out here.

    Blessings, Bo

    • shannon says:

      Hey!!! I read this book in an indiana womens prison. It made such a positive change that I read, reread, and read it again at the end of the day in prison.Many women noticed my changes, and also ordered and read this book!! It was a comfort to me, and is still on my nightstand to look at when I need to comfort myself…it is an awesome read!!! Bo really did a great work that helps so many of US get through the hardest days!!! Luv,luv,luv it!! Shannon

  4. Sharon says:

    I am so thrilled that your journey has taken such an inspirational route!!! And you sound so ready and willing to experience it to it’s fullest! Congrats on your inner freedom!
    Yes, I agree, you can be more free on the inside than many are on the outside. I am getting the book!
    The joy is in the journey!
    Love and prayers,
    XXOO
    Sharon